I don’t know why so many people can’t figure out email. Most businesses revolve around email use. Even our personal lives are built around email. You need an active email if you want to buy Uggs on Amazon. Everyone uses email. The problem is, most people use it super obnoxiously wrong. Bad emailers, like MLM sales people, are damn near everywhere these days. Bad emailing skills are so pervasive that we almost need a course on email skills. Or at the very list, one of those electric wrist bands that shocks people for making bad email mistakes.
When you screw up email, you ruin people’s lives. And you alienate yourself from the herd. You become the person who will be forever thought of as the person who can’t properly participate in email. Suddenly, you are getting postal mail letters again because the group no longer trust sending you an email. Imagine having the check the mail daily again. What an asburd inconvenience that would be.
But you can control you own destiny here. You can save yourself by not participating in crappy email mistakes. The formula is simple, just know a few solid rules and you should be golden.
Don’t Reply All ALL THE TIME
I don’t know why this is still an issue for people, but it is. I guess people still don’t know how to competently use an Apple TV yet and that’s been around for a really long time also, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. When you reply all to an email, unless you know everyone wants to partake in an email chain, you destroy lives. And you become someone that is looked down upon, much like an Amway sales person or a Scientologist. And you can never not be that person ever again. People will see you decades later working at some children’s hospital, using a cane to get around, and think, “oh, there’s the a#$clown who tragically replied all to an email about the new coke machine in the break room being broken.”
Your pretty much spoiled meat at that point, you can never be in a group setting again without people worrying if you are going to expose them to dangerous toxins and intestinal damage.
Stop Copying The World
Learn to use BCC. That means Blind Carbon Copy, at least I think that’s what it stands for. More or less it stands for you not being an email jackass. When you disclose 40 people on a copy, you leave open the opportunity for a massive reply all festival. Additionally, you give away people’s contact information. Imagine poor Rebecca who works as a sales representative for company A, she’s been trying to avoid Bob’s slimy come on’s for two years. And now Bob, who you through on a regular copy, has her email. What do you think Bob’s going to do with his newfound discovery? Probably find Rebecca on Facebook. After that? Rebecca either is eternally annoyed by Bob, or Bob eventually turns Rebecca into a lampshade.
Keep people’s info private by hitting the BCC button when you decide to email a group. Sure, if you know everyone on the list, it is fine. But if you are sending out new PR, don’t ruin it with a tragic copy situation.
Don’t Write Novels
Hemmingway is amazing, just not as an email. If you want to write long strings of words, do it in a notebook and then show up at your local coffee shop for spoken word or poetry night. Wear a fedora. But don’t do it over email. People’s time is money. And for those people who are broke and don’t fall into the ‘time is money category,’ you make their poverty 20 times worse by exposing them to long emails.
Long emails are narcissistic. Usually the writer of the email is just trying to sound smart. Most people won’t even read these emails, so really it is impossible to know whether you made anyone suddenly feel you are smart. What is possible to know is that people will hate you on the same level they hate finding raisins inside of cinnamon roles. It is a horrible surprise and ruins their day. Don’t ruin days.
If you can’t help but write long emails, then write them as a draft and then go back and select all the things which are trivial and delete them. This will be everything but two sentences. If you are left with 3 sentences, go back and delete one more sentence. This should be the safest possible precaution.
In the end, email isn’t difficult. If you needed to read this, you should already be concerned for your livelhood. I can’t imagine the obstacle your days must typically encounter that challenge you, such as opening doors, pooping and drinking fluids. All the same, I sure hope this helps.
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